"I love you" followed by "You're UGLY" ending with "Forgive me"

My Loveys!!! I know.... it's been WEEKS since I've last blogged. I've been caught up. With what?! Who knows! I guess you can say I've been a little on the lazy side. But I'm back & ready to blog.........


So I came across a quote some time ago while riding the train and it really stuck out to me. It represented a topic that I have been wanting to blog about for a while. It's a sensitive subject that doesn't get brought up too often but it really needs to be addressed because it happens way too often and NO, it's not alright!!!


"Men don't know how to walk away. Women don't know when to walk away." - I can't remember who the quote was by because I was so focused on the quote itself. "Men think with their dick while women think with their heart" is what I first thought."Women don't know when to walk away".....pretty self explanatory but of course I have to break it down since I have witnessed it way too many times before. For some reason, women always seem to find the good in every bad situation, making excuses for everything they know is wrong. I'm a pretty head strong individual and very rarely settle for the bullshit but I've found myself making excuses at times, trying to cover up the obvious just to make myself feel better about the situation; fearing that I will look like a fool.


Abuse- Your man doesn't put his hands on you but he calls you ugly, fat or anything degrading every chance that he gets. Yes, that IS considered abuse. Does it make you feel good? Every time he says it, it makes you a little weaker, a little more insecure. And it's all done because he's insecure about himself and needs to push you down so low, lower than he feels so he can feel like he has some type of power. So he can feel like the man that he isn't. Does that sound like love? How can someone say they love you then turn around and tell you how much they despise everything about you?
Love is excepting everything about your partner; at their lowest or at their highest. Loving the way they look at all times and reminding them every chance you get. Holding them and telling them how much they mean to you. NOT telling you how much he does for you and how you're nothing without him. NOT pointing out your every flaw, KNOWING that you're ashamed of them. NOT making you feel like he's the best you can do, NOT making you believe that no one else would ever want you. No one is perfect but Love is when your partner thinks you're perfect regardless of what your past involves, what your present reveals and what your future holds.  


But what I need to know is WHY. Why do women choose to stick with men like that?! How can someone be happy with someone who's so miserable. What every man needs to understand is, just because you aren't telling your woman how beautiful she is doesn't mean she isn't hearing it from someone else. Everything you hate about her will be everything another man loves about her. I've never been the type to judge but it really WOWs me how women in abusive relationships can analyze their situation so clearly but yet continue to remain in the relationship with this person that they'll  eventually grow to hate. They know every step they need to take in order to get their life back but yet they don't take Fear of starting all over? You can never love someone else without loving yourself first. And loving yourself consists of trusting yourself, learning how to be within your own company without having that fear of being alone, being able to point out whats imperfect about yourself and excepting it because you know no one is perfect and there's nothing wrong with that, being able to look into a mirror and telling yourself you're beautiful and deserve nothing but the best, knowing your worth. Women don't know when to walk away because they keep telling themselves that things will get better one day when they know deep down that things will never change. Talk is cheap! A man can say anything and make it sound good enough to believe. It's up to you to stop believing what he says and push him to prove it all to you. And if he can't do that, then the fact is.......he doesn't love you, doesn't deserve you and it's time to move on.


This is a new year and a perfect time for change. If you've found yourself in an unhealthy relationship, now is the perfect time to RUNNNN bitch RUN!!! (LOL) No, but seriously if you're not going to do it for yourself, do it for your child(ren). They shouldn't be around to witness what goes on in your relationship and you should want to make your home a stable one for them. Show them that you're a stronger individual than they might think you are and how anyone can bounce back from a low point in life. Teach them that they should never settle for an abusive relationship because no one ever deserves it. Better examples need to be set for our future generations. Lets start NOW!

What would you do if you became a millionaire?

Franck (The hubby) and I were talking about this earlier today. If you were blessed enough to win the lotto tomorrow, what would you do with your money? I'm sure the first thing a lot of people would do is get up OUT the hood. But at the same time I know some who wouldn't, mainly because they are just so comfortable where they're at. Some people are afraid of change. Don't get me wrong, I would leave the hood but I wouldn't erase it out of my life completely like some would. Get a lil money and don't know how to act! At the same time, I won't be living ghetto fabulous.....with my 3 bedroom apartment PIMPED out......stripper pole in the middle of my living room, a personal servant to scratch my ass when it itches, a 60 inch flat screen mounted on my 62 inch wall, driving around in a Benz while I'm asking who got the keys to my beamer?! Having my own property would come first.....everything else is an accessory. Of course everyone is in a different situation but I personally would keep what could possibly be an investment. For instance, my mom has a HUGE apartment (2 bedrooms), affordable & subsidized rent in a quiet, safe block in an upcoming neighborhood. I would never give that up! Why? Well for one, you never know what can happen tomorrow. The state might finally figure out HOW the hell you never worked a day in your life but manage to file "self employed" every year during tax time. (LMAO) Second, NYC rent is pretty ridiculous, not affordable at all. Therefore, I would rather sublease, add on $200-$300 to the rent to make a profit because that would still be cheaper than a $1600 "studio" apartment (so small, you can take a shit while you flip your chuletas) in little Mexico(116th Street).
Who would NOT want to move out of the hood if they had the chance? I would! In a heart beat!!! But to say that I would never look back is a little much. This is the place I was born & raised. I learned what was right, what was wrong, who to trust and who not, where to buy cigarettes & liquor at the age of 16, which spot had the best chopped cheese, which sneaker store had the new Jordan's before they were release everywhere else, which blocks you should avoid at night if you didn't want master splinter running across your feet.....I'm being silly but basically, I learned what made me who I am today. To say that you're ashamed of where you came from, you're saying you're ashamed of who you are. The "hood" is not always the worst place you could have been raised at. If you managed to hit 21 without getting locked up, shot up, knocked up, if you graduated, got a job, learned some responsibility, went to college or any other GOOD in life.....than the hood hasn't been that bad to you. And you can never say it's because you didn't hang w/ the thug crew. Fact is, not everyone that has been killed was killed because they were living a bad life. You can be at the wrong place, at the wrong time. You know what's worse than living in the ghetto? Living in a third world country where eating is a privilege and drinking the water can kill you. At least in the hood you get FOOD STAMPS. :)